The quality of a circle

[W]HEN I THINK about “quality over quantity,” I can’t help but think of a time in my life when the adage was flipped.

Facebook was born when I was a senior in high school.

I was late to the party, as usual.

I didn’t create a profile until I’d been in college a year or two.

It started as a good way to keep up with old friends who’d gone to different schools, and get to know new ones.

It became something else before long.

I started to notice how many “friends” everybody else had.

Then I added everybody I’d ever seen in Wal-Mart to catch up and keep up with the Jones’.

Soon, I developed a Facebook habit.

It escalated from there.

When I looked at people’s pages and saw where they were in their lives, part of me began to become discontented with my own.

I don’t think I ever lived for likes, but there was a time I did strive for them.

I’d try to come up with witty status updates and post unique pictures for my “friends” to see, until I realized I was out of control.

My mind’s eye was opened when I was just about blinded by the sun.

While I sat in the middle of my Mammaw’s driveway and stared at an eclipse through special glasses, I realized I was angry because the picture I took of what I watched in the sky wasn’t good enough to post.

Then I realized I was dumb.

I almost missed a cool thing because I tried to take a jaw-dropping picture of it with a phone camera, which could never do it justice anyway.

I put the phone down, enjoyed the rest of the eclipse and took a hard look at my social media habits when it was over.

I didn’t like what I saw.

I saw a person who spent too much time envying others and not enough time trying to better himself.

I saw a person who looked at life through a phone so much he didn’t realize the years had already started to pass him by at a rapid pace.

I saw a different version of myself than who I am, an online version who wasn’t true to the person at the keyboard.

I made a decision to deactivate my account, and I have not regretted it.

I’ve been back to look at things some, but it’s never more than a few minutes before my account is gone again.

These days, I’ll take the quality of a circle of friends instead of the quantity of a list of profiles.

---

This post is a response to Sue’s prompt, “quality.”